“Churning the butter”, “Vulcanising the whoopee stick”, “Threading the needle”, “Sinking the sausage.”

No matter what you want to call it, we’re all familiar with sex. We’ve been there, we’ve done it, we’ve had our own personal failures and successes while tumbling between the sheets. But there are a lot of things about doing the deed that may surprise you and even recondition the way you approach your next feather bed jig.escorte

Sexercise is actually a thing. That’s right; a 30-minute session of passionate pounding can burn about 200 calories. That’s roughly the equivalent of 60 minutes of walking, 30 minutes of jogging on a treadmill, or 20 minutes of swimming. Why not burn off that next slice of cheese pizza with a cheeky core-gasm?

Having sex three to five times a week can prevent erectile dysfunction. If you needed another reason to have regular sex, this is a good one. Long periods of abstinence can actually be harmful for the male species, increasing the flop-factor of their fiddle and decreasing their sperm count.

A woman’s breasts can swell up to 25 per cent when aroused. Getting your lady worked up can actually boost her boob size, which also results in heightened sensitivity. The upper part of the lady lumps is the most excitable, while a gentle nipple nibble can activate the same part of the brain as clitoral, vaginal and cervical stimulation.

A quarter of penises have a slight bend in them when erect. Worried about your wonky willy? Don’t be. It’s actually much more common than you think. And while we’re on that note – eight inches? Please. The average tally whacker measures five to seven inches in length when erect.

There is scientific reasoning why men are attracted to bigger bums and boobs. In the anthropological world, wide hips and generous breasts indicated signs of fertility in a woman. That innate factor has trickled down the evolutionary trail, making voluptuous women naturally more attractive to men.

Women are more likely to orgasm just before or during their period. Yes, that time of the month can actually be the best time for lusting and thrusting. Not only are women more susceptible to orgasms during this period (pun intended), but a solid climax can even relieve those pesky cramps. However, 70 per cent of men refuse to have sex with their girlfriend when she is on her period. Perhaps it’s time to reconsider?

Foot fetishes are a lot more common than you think. In the Western world, the most popular sexual fetish is the allure of the old footsies. But why are we attracted to those appendages we stuff into shoes all day long? One suggestion is that sensations in the feet and genitals both transmit to the same area of the brain, resulting in a cross-wiring effect. Another suggestion is Random Association Theory: porn has super increased its zoom-ins of feet since the 1990s, while in less-explicit films, sex is often portrayed via imagery of bare feet sticking out from the bedcovers. Therefore, we begin to associate feet with sexual gratification because science says so.

BBB…What? A Quick Guide to the Jargonic World of Escorts

Have you ever melted into a room, clutching a drink warmed by ten minutes of tight grasping and puzzlement, treading acronyms and confusing terms, trying not to drown in a foreign language though you understand the words themselves? Us too. It’s a common situation, as every industry is littered with jargon almost nobody – besides those in the know – understands, much less reels off on command. Escorts have their own tongue, a seductive tangle of letter arrangement and mysterious words to rifle through; make your appointment enjoyable by communicating your needs and desires in a quick form your escort will understand. It may also help you identify which escort is right for your needs, desires and hidden fantasies!

In alphabetical order, we have trawled the internet, interviewed the escorts of Bucharest and collected a host of terms you NEED to know before you hit the sheets:

BBBJ: What could all of those B’s possibly stand for? Big Breasted Buxom Beauty? Sorry, Marilyn Monroe fans, BBBJ refers to the bareback blowjob. You know, oral WITHOUT Durex getting in the way.

BS: What a load of…not that BS. Clean your mouth out before you spill a curse you can’t take back. Remember, never swear in front of a lady, unless she asks you to, of course. BS stands for body slide, a massage technique utilised by highly skilled, very sexy escorts, sliding over your slippery, oiled body.

CBJ: A sedate and most cousin of BBBJ, CBJ has a love affair with most condom companies; the shortened form of Covered Blowjob, you’ll spy CBJ popping up on a variety of profiles.

CMD: There’s nothing quite like a beautiful blonde, a ripe red head or a brilliant brunette (depending on your tastes); in the age of bottle dyes and beauty salons, it can be disappointing if above and below are mismatched. Never fear, if an escort has kept a natural head of hair, the carpet will match the drapes or CMD.

DATY: Have you heard of the Y? Are you sure? It’s a fresh platter of sensations, sure to make your head spin. Okay, we’ll give you a hint, the Y is below the equatorial naval and starts with C? Still no clue? Why, cunnilingus of course!

DDE: DDE isn’t a new cup size imported by surgery enthusiasts. Doesn’t Do Extras refers to a straight up service for the straight up patron. No ifs, no buts, no bribes, just sweet, sweet satisfaction.

DFK: Are you a fan of the tongue tango? How about an intimate caress and a well-timed exhalation as your mouth moves in for the kill? DFK is for those who like kissing, deep French kissing to be exact, with the face stroking and sighs that accompany it.

FL: When it comes to picking an escort to share your precious time, there are two lanes to choose from. Down lane one resides the sole traders of the escort universe, freelancers in charge of their own activities, cash flow and appointments.

GFE: Have you ever wanted a girlfriend, but only occasionally and when it suits you? Look no further than a GFE (Girlfriend Experience); you will feel special, warmed and treated like the sexiest man or woman on earth. More intense is the HME or Honeymoon Experience, but why don’t you try the GFE first, tiger?

LTR: Expanding on the question posed directly above regarding sometimes girlfriends (or boyfriends), an LTR is a Long Term Relationship. No, you’re not going to move in together, join your bank accounts and slowly yet surely plod toward a marriage proposal. An escort LTR occurs when the escort accepts exclusivity from a client, reliant of payments, affordability and the escorts discretion. Keep in mind, much like your Friday night hook-up, if an escort tires of your pea-cocking or preening, they will “break up” with you, much like the real world. Respect, it should be central to every appointment.

Have we missed something? Do you have a few acronyms of your own to add? Let us know in the comments below.